the pursuit of happyness

as I look back at all the pictures I have saved on my computer, I've come to understand that I am happiest when I'm surrounded by my friends. I know that this is pretty much a given in life, but the one thing I noticed is that the pictures that I look happiest are the sober pictures. Ever since I started partying and going out more often, I've come to adopt the bitter taste of vodka, rum, and my personal shot-of-choice, tequila.

While it loosens me up, however, I've also come to realize that it makes me obnoxious and annoying. I'm giving up the "drunken nights" for a while.. I don't want to forget any of the memories I'm creating with my friends..

That's not to say I'm going completely dry.. I'll still take a couple shots here and there.. but as far as waking up in the morning, realizing "what have I done?!".. well.. those memories won't be made for a very long time..

I'm cleaning up my act.. because it's time to grow out of this stage in my life.. I'm going to re-learn what makes me happy.. and who makes me happy..

For the first time in a while, I'm going to try to find someone who truly makes me happy.. someone who will treat me how I deserve to be treated.. with respect and kindness.. with love and adoration..

Yes, I understand it may take a while.. hell, it might take a LONG time.. but in the meantime, I'm done with the crazy college parties for a while.. at least until I can prove, if only for myself, that I'm better than that..

One ought to seek out virtue for its own sake, without being influenced by fear or hope, or by any external influence. Moreover, that in that does happiness consist.
- Diogenes Laertius, Zeno