Friday, April 20, 2007


Friday, April 20, 2007
"Optimistic youth is spent talking yourself into believing that at any moment you'll do something bold, brave, and significant, while the calm post-sixty years are spent talking yourself into believing that you might have done something bold, brave, and significant, but for bold, brave and significant, and unspecified reasons, you chose not to."
-Alternatives to Sex [Stephen McCauley]

I've been known to be bold and brave when it comes to the choices and actions I make in my life, and especially when it comes to relationships. I usually make the first move, ask for the guy's number, and call him before he has a chance to realize how badly he's fallen for me.

That is, of course, until recently. I'm currently seeing someone who not only asked for my number, but constantly pays for me, constantly opens doors for me, and constantly makes me feel as if I don't have to make all the bold, brave, significant moves. Somehow, things seem to fall perfectly into place..

But this, of course, scares me. I'm used to the challenge of being with someone.. the difficulty of getting the guy interested. This seems all too perfect, all too simple.. and yet, so enjoyable.

So as I am about to give up and think that there is no battle for this relationship to work, I have discovered that, for unspecified reasons, simply relaxing and settling into this relationship will slightly change my lifestyle.. and that right there will be the bold and significant move..

As far as how I need to be brave in this.. Well, simply put, I need to be able to stand right back up in case I get hurt again.. Because for anyone who has read this blog at all, it is quite obvious that I've learned a thing or two from my last relationship.. and I know to take caution in giving my heart away again.. Relationships don't always last. And I just gotta keep that in the back of my mind during all the happy times, just in case.. just in case..

But with all of that said, I'm still happier than I have been in a very long time. (^_^)

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