Friday, March 09, 2007

insomnia

Friday, March 09, 2007
"So I guess there's no easy way to move on from a relationship. You can't flip a switch and suddenly be over it. Because the road really is full of hidden potholes.

You can try staying in the relationship. You can stay home and dream of the perfect unobtainable one.

But in the end... it just takes time."

-
Men in Trees

Give it time, and eventually all the wounds will heal.. and the ones that don't... the ones that "harden, scab up, and scar" are the ones that will always be with you. Life isn't about forgetting. You cannot simply forget the good times. You can forgive the bad times, but even those are not meant to be forgotten. At the same time, you cannot live in the past either. Just sit back, remember everything.. and smile.

Do not regret anything. What is the point in regretting? It's in the past and cannot be changed. All that is left is the present.

I've stressed so much lately about the past. I've cried for hours thinking about how I managed to screw up my last relationship.. how I lost "the One that got away".. how I ruined my future with stupid mistakes and choices.

But then I realized that if none of those things had happened, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't be who I am today. So instead of wishing for things to happen and people to come back to me.. I'm going to make the most out of NOW. I reflect on all the events in the past few months.. I read my old posts.. I look back at all the pictures.. I'm definitely changing.. I'm definitely growing.

I want to continue growing up and maturing.. I want to cherish every moment I have.. I know this won't last that long.. because of course, life isn't perfect either. I will have an emotional breakdown again.. and again.. and again.. but that's something I know to just accept. The important thing is that I now know how to stand back up.. by myself. I don't need a guy to be there for me to tell me that everything will be okay.. I don't need someone to tell me I'm beautiful or that I'm going to make someone very happy someday. I don't need anyone to tell me anything that I don't already know.

I am amazing. I can stand on my own two feet, and I won't let anyone bring me down.

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