patterns

it's not supposed to bother me. i shouldn't care that a girl that's in love with him is calling him.. he's with me, right?

the past is the past. that's what i always tell him.. and that's what i've always believed..

but how do i know that the past really IS just the past? how do i know if his past is in his present?

trust. yes yes, trust. it's a difficult issue to tackle.. but it shouldn't be, right? it should be simple. i simply have to trust him. and it will all be fine..

easier said than done. i think too much. he tells me that if i worry too much about the future, i'm going to miss what's happening right now..

but at the same time, if i just enjoy life as it comes to me, how will i be prepared for the pain that i might come across in the future. i can't afford to get hurt all over again. i can't lose any more sleep / distress over relationships, especially next semester when school starts again.. and i can't cry over another guy..

patterns blow.