Sunday, November 25, 2007


Sunday, November 25, 2007
This time around, it's going to be different.

I'm with someone who's different from all the other guys I've dated -
someone who promises to try his best to keep me happy..
someone who wants to take care of me..
someone who constantly compliments me..
someone who appreciates me for simply who i am..

someone who i know deserves better than i can give..

[* Random thought: My bed feels more lonely than ever tonight. I miss falling asleep and waking up next to someone. *]

So how is it going to be different now?

First of all, I won't suffocate his life. I'm not going to hover around or choke the relationship. Trust is going to be a big factor, as it always is, but somehow I feel like I can trust him more than my last boyfriend.

But at the same time, I won't be hurt as badly just in case anything DOES happen. I've been hurt [badly] in the past, and I know I don't need that to delay my happiness. If this turns out to be too much to handle, then I'm out. At this point, I don't see it being an issue at all, and I can't imagine not smiling when I think of him, but just in case, I'm prepared. I'm standing on my own two feet whether I have someone to carry me or not.

It all feels so new to me somehow. I haven't felt this way in so long and I've got to get used to it sometime soon.. I don't want to lose this anytime soon =)

On another note, however..

I'm weary about the ex-factor. She's still around, and I trust him and that's not even the issue.. BUT I feel like there's 3 of us in the relationship sometimes.. and it's causing a lot more stress than I would have anticipated.. I'm not really sure how to think about it right now, but I know that I don't really want to be stuck in between the two of them. I prefer the times it's just him and me.. I guess it's just a happier picture.. And I know that's terribly greedy of me, but it's the truth. I kinda want him to myself.. I mean, he IS my boyfriend right?

Man.. I have a boyfriend? *CRAZY!* I'm still in shock. =)

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