Tuesday, October 28, 2008

moving on.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008
So I've changed in so many ways over the past year alone. I mean there are the obvious changes that have lead me to the happiest moments of my life:
  • Getting on that train for a first date.
  • Getting on the train to his house after the first date.
  • Saying YES ;) (on more than one occasion)
  • Going back to school (not so much happiest... but it was a good turn in the right direction)
  • Letting go of the past (no, this doesn't have to do with any past relationships in the sense of boyfriends)
I've changed the way I dress (to an extent I've gotten more fashionably smarter).. I've changed the way I shop (Still a bargain shopper, but I've changed what my priority splurges are)... I've changed the way I eat (this basically went downhill from that first barbeque Lays potato chip)... and I've changed the options I have in spending my free time. I no longer have the urge to go to house parties or think to myself "LET'S GET WASTED!!!" I'd much rather spend a night in, watching movies or TV... or playing ROCKBAND I've started to prefer going to museums and discovering the greatest aspects of living so close to Chicago, both the city and downtown... and started drifting away from the clubbing and bar-crawling scene. All these changes and I feel like I'm starting to get too old for my age. No more drama... no more arguments over petty things.. I don't have the time or energy to be bothered with any of it.

But nevertheless, life still seems to be complicated and demanding. I've become so tired lately... not just in the sense of being physically exhausted but I'm tired of the hectic schedule that my life has become. I wish I could take off more days at work, but 1) I need the money and 2) we're so short-staffed that I feel guilty about not working any free moment that I can.

We barely get enough time to ourselves anymore. The only time we DO have together to relax is late at night (on his nights off of course). And since it's our only moment, we try to use up all the time we can.. which causes us to sleep well beyond 4am sometimes. Then we have to wake up early... whether it is to go to school or do errands.. but it seems as if every morning is something I have to dread. Even Sundays are much busier that I would like.

I know I'm just whining and ranting in this blog entry, but I feel that it's the only way I can express these thoughts because there is no one else out there that I want to bother...

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