Saturday, August 05, 2006

the one that got away

Saturday, August 05, 2006

[posted on my myspace blog]

I was on xanga today, and I came across an article that Dennis had posted, and I want to share it with you today. It's amazing because if I were already the journalist I want to be someday, this is actually one of the topics i would have used for an article. Crazy how things can jump at you at the right moments, huh?
Oh, and I know you're going to relate this to your life somehow, I just KNOW it. I think most, if not all, of us will be able to think of someone already, whether we've already gone through "the change" yet...

Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with ¡¦ and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter.

All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple ¡¦ find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "the one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got this one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

now. my reflection

You're going to go through life always wondering about the "What If..'s" in life... Like the article said, you just have to accept the fact that what's in your past is in your past... Sometimes things will come around on its own and you'll get your happily ever after, but sometimes it won't work out that way.

To quote one of the people I look to most for direction:

It's like in Hitch....I know it's corny...but when you love somebody you jump and hope to God that you can fly. And even if you fall to your death or break every bone in your'll know you took that leap for something that meant the world to you. Otherwise you let that moment pass and you are left wondering "what if." I don't believe in letting it go or letting it work itself out in the future not now if it's something you know you want. Carpe diem. Sieze the day. Find your demons, confront them, discover yourself and live for the moment. There is no point in time than when you'll feel more alive than NOW.

I guess this blog is a bit reflective for a myspace blog [I usually keep the extremely thoughtful stuff in my private journal ] but I really want people to understand this concept, and I'm hoping I'll help someone out... Because there are always people out there [myself included] that have questions that no one can answer; there are always people out there reaching for something they can't find.

haha, I guess you could say they either take the religious route and pray about it, or they look to people that won't judge them like a close relative would:

a perfect stranger.

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