expectations

I'm sorry that I've expected so much from you lately. It isn't fair to you or our relationship.. I know there are certain things that I truly desire and wish for, but I know that I still should not get upset if I don't get these things..

I care about you a lot, so I shouldn't let little things get in the way of that. I've learned that to really "grow up", you have to choose your battles wisely.. not every problem we encounter is something that needs to provoke an argument or cause tears.

This is not to say that I will back down from something I believe I truly deserve. If you're wondering what this entails exactly, I can't really answer that completely. I can let you know, however, a few details, all of which should be givens I guess..

First of all, I deserve to be treated with respect. I am 20 years old, not 10. I do not deserve to be treated as if I am a child who is just whining about not getting her way. Sometimes, I have something important to say too. Sometimes, I'm right, and I just need you to accept that.. Otherwise, it's difficult for ME to accept that I can be right too. I want you to let your guard down and just let me see that you have a weaker side too.

I deserve the right to be told I am appreciated.. Yes, I guess I shouldn't be needing to be TOLD, but I love hearing it. I love knowing that my hard work is paying off. And YES, I do believe I work hard at keeping my friends happy.. I know I complain at times, but like I said, I'm only human.

I deserve to have dreams. You are my CLOSEST companion.. I share things with you more than anyone else.. among these things I share with you, dreams are one of the most intimate "secrets" I have. I don't think it's too much to ask that you just listen. Sometimes I don't even really need you to have much of an opinion because I know you might not even care at all.. but having you listen to what I have to say makes me feel as if you don't have anything else on your mind but me.

You know how important you are to me. You know how much power you have to change my life; your opinion is something I not only value, but anticipate. I am one who loves to have a second opinion.. but not just ANY second opinion.. I need it from someone who is willing to give me an honest perspective. That's you.

From now on, I will be careful not to get in the way of your life.. but in the back of my mind, I hope that you will not see it this way.. that you will hope to have me as PART of your life.. I hope that you will miss me when we are away, and get excited when we see each other. I guess it's because that's how I am with you.. and part of me feels like I could only hope that you feel the same way about me.